What if
by Ivy's Wing
Summary: After Voldemort's first downfall, Lucius and Narcissa share a comforting moment, trying to forget the uncertain future.


Okei, first story published ! I'm very proud but a bit shaky to hear your opinion. I hope you'll enjoy reading it and remember to review if you liked it ;)

 **Edit** : I forgot to say that R. City's and Adam Levine's song _Locked Away_ inspired me for this story!

Disclaimer: I do not own Narcissa or Lucius Malfoy (not even Draco) - they are J.K. Rowling's!

* * *

 **What if**

 _November, 1981 – Voldemort's first downfall._

Lucius was sitting in his armchair, facing the fireplace. Not a sound could be heard apart from the crackling of the fire which was also the only light in the room. Lucius had been deep in thought the whole evening, barely noticing his wife and one-year-old son moving around him. Narcissa didn't try to make him speak, for she knew what bothered him. She had taken Draco upstairs a few minutes ago to put him in bed. The little boy had been frowning at his father throughout dinner, not understanding what was going on and why his father's mood was so gloomy. Thankfully, little boys like him couldn't understand even if they were explained. Innocence was a blessed feeling that Narcissa would have given anything for right now.

Lucius' fingers were now slightly taping the armrest, his eyes staring without seeing at the fire. He didn't hear Narcissa entering the room. She froze a moment at the door before carefully stepping towards the blond. She kneeled in front of him, gently placing her hands on his thighs. His gaze fell on her worried face and Lucius sighed as his composure broke. He held out a hand and reached for Narcissa's face, lovingly fondling her cheek. She shut her eyes and leaned in the touch. Lucius could almost hear her purr. She was very much like a cat, strong and independent but still eager for caresses. A luxury cat, he had to add, for she loved shiny and fancy things. At the thought, his face darkened again and he retreated back in the armchair. Narcissa's eyes opened again.

"Honey," she said softly.

Lucius did not answer.

"Honey, please. Talk to me."

He looked at her sheepishly. How could he ever admit what he had in mind to his wife? She would never look at him the same way again and he could never bear to be stared at with disgust – or worse, with contempt. He knew better than that. He tried to reassure her by putting a smile on his face but it was obvious that she wasn't buying it.

"Lucius," she said, "I know that the Dark Lord's disappearance is putting you through a disagreeable position towards the Minister but-"

"I don't care about the Minister," he said.

"Honey…"

"I really don't Narcissa. I know that we will find a way to go through this safely."

Narcissa didn't know what to answer. She wanted to believe in his words, believe that somehow they wouldn't be blamed for the Malfoy family's involvement in the dark events of the last few years and that Lucius and she wouldn't be separated from their baby boy. Merlin, what would happen to Draco if he was taken from them? Where would he go? She dreaded for her son's fate as much as she dreaded for hers and her husband's.

Lucius must have sensed her doubts, for he clasped his hands around hers and looked at her in what seemed to her like a crazy but determined hope.

"We will, he said. I promise you. I will never let them take us down. I won't let them darken our son's future. I would do anything for both of you to be safe."

Narcissa nodded with a comforting smile. Yes, she thought, Lucius would do anything for them. It was the reason he joined the Dark Lord. Even though his parents had been sympathetic with the Dark Lord's ideals, he wasn't much pleased with the thought of kneeling before someone and the idea of killing was repulsive to him. Sure, he couldn't stand muggles and muggleborns, but he was more of a pacifist than a murderer.

Thanks to his father, he had been spared from having to join the rank of Death Eaters for a while. But when the time had come, he found himself unable to refuse. He had seen how the families that didn't give their support to the Dark Lord were treated and he didn't want his pregnant wife to be on the run, or hiding, fearing for her life and the life of their soon-to-be firstborn each passing day.

And so, here they were now, after the Dark Lord had fallen, fearing for their fate once again. Lucius made her stand and then sit across his laps. He folded his arms around her slim and delicate waist. She answered the embrace by wrapping her owns around his neck and he rested his head on her breast. Her slow breath and the beating of her heart were soothing him. He tightened his hold and whispered:

"I'm afraid."

"I know," she whispered back. "It will be alright."

"What if…"

He trailed off, still unsure of what to say and what to keep unsaid. Narcissa ran her fingers through his long, silky blond hair. He sighed with contentment.

"… If I got locked away. What if today was the last day we had together? What if we lost it all? All our money…"

"We don't need money, she said, cupping his face with her hands and looking him straight in the eyes. As long as we are together, you and me, and our beautiful son, money is but the last thing that we need to care about."

"But if I couldn't stay with you, if they send me to Azkaban."

"We would wait for you. And support you as much as we would be allowed to."

Lucius hugged her gently for a moment, letting her words sink in. He knew she would always be here for him, whatever happened. They had married for love as much as to grant their families' wish. They had been lucky, rare were love-marriages for Purebloods. And each passing day was making them fall in love with each other even more. Draco's birth had been the ultimate proof of their love: his beauty was mirroring their intertwined souls.

But he still wondered…

"I know that it wasn't in our plans to be in this situation," he said. "I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to-"

"Don't," she cut him off. "How could you even think that I would turn my back on you? After all we've been through. I love you, Lucius Malfoy. I always did and always will. No matter what happen. You are the love of my life."

"And you are mine. I could never have dreamed of a more perfect wife. You are everything I always wished for. I only wish that I was strong enough to protect you from everything. I don't want you to suffer shame for my mistakes."

"This was no mistake. What you did, you did for love. You did it exactly to protect me. Whoever blames you for that doesn't understand what love means."

Tears were quietly falling down her eyes. Her husband's distraught was heart-breaking. Never once had he seemed so powerless and afraid of what would happen. He had always been the type to hide and control his feelings, having been raised that way. Seeing him slightly shaking and holding her as if she was the last thing that could save his sanity was not what she had expected when she married him but she wouldn't regret her decision, ever.

She found the sight to have something of beautiful. That such a man, always strong and in control, was losing it and admitting his fears was not a proof of weakness. On the contrary, she thought, if anything, it was a proof that he was but a pure soul and open-hearted man.

Her hands still cupping his face, she leant forward, meeting his lips with hers. The kiss was soft and light. Lucius sighed and smiled against her lips before answering it more firmly. She put all her love for him in the kiss, hoping that he would feel it and that some of his fears would fade away. She wanted to cheer him up, to make him forget all their troubles for at least a few hours.

They parted, staring at each other with melting eyes. Yes, they thought, I only exist when he/she looks at me. Their lips joined again, passion making them pressing their bodies as close as they could. Their caresses were as loving as could be. Lucius' hands were gently stroking her back while hers had found their way back into his hair, running her fingers through it in a soft combing.

Suddenly, crying echoed through the manor, making them start. They parted and shared a knowing chuckle. Then Narcissa stood and extended a hand for Lucius to grab, smiling fondly.

"Come. Our son needs his father's goodnight kiss."

Lucius smiled back and reached for her hand before standing in turn. They then exited the room, holding hands, their shoulders temporarily relieved from their burden.


End file.
